


Everybody Loves Me

by wakandan_wardog



Series: Tumblr Shenanigans [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Tales of Suspense, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Confused Tony Stark, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Multi, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Team Dynamics, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandan_wardog/pseuds/wakandan_wardog
Summary: From the Prompt: "Would you ever write a TonyXEveyone fic? Not exactly everyoneXeveryone, but everyone *in love* with Tony only?"Note this is a Partial Fill which may be expanded on later. Featuring Tales of Suspense Hawkeye/Comic Clint Barton, aka deaf and a dumpster kid until the end.





	1. Chapter 1

Tony shuffles into the bedroom after a long day of board meetings and teleconferences, grumbling under his breath. He’s kicking out of his shoes and stripping his jacket and tie off before the door even snicks shut, and a half-hearted wave to JARVIS makes the AI dial up the lights. A third of the way across the floor he freezes, tie and suit jacket in hand, blinking at his bed in confusion. 

 “J?” He mumbles. “Daddy’s hallucinating.”

“I’m afraid not, Sir.” JARVIS murmurs, sounding far too weary for an AI. “I tried to warn you in the elevator. You ‘ _shushed_ ’ me.” 

“The scandal.” Tony mumbles, rubbing at his eyes again. When he lowers his hands, the two bodies are still there, sprawled beneath his fresh crimson sheets. “Ok. You’re gonna have to help me, buddy, and short sentences because I’m exhausted. Why are Little Miss Muffet and his Favorite Spider in my bed?” 

Before JARVIS can reply the redhead seems to stir, and Tony stumbles to a halt several strides back from the bed. He’s fairly certain he can get to the door before she leaps out of the bed to kill him, but the advantage is her’s because he’s tired…

“There you are.” Natasha murmurs, sitting up right and letting the sheet pour off of her without concern. Tony tries not to stare, tearing his eyes away from her and fixing on the wall behind his bed. Ok, so the advantage is  _definitely_ Tasha’s, she’s distractingly nude. 

In his bed, which he still does not understand. 

“Here I am.” Tony mumbles. “And there you are, clearly; way more of you than I was expecting. Why are you in my bed? Why is Clint in my bed? Wait… is he  _sleeping_ through this?”

Tasha, for her part, doesn't even glance at Clint. She just gives Tony a faint smile and tilts her head, short hair whispering against her jaw and brushing her shoulder. 

He sounds scandalized but he can’t help it, off on a rant before he can stop himself. “He  _is_! He’s sleeping through you being  _naked_ and both of you in my bed. What the  _fuck_ , Clint.” 

“Clint has seen me naked before, Stark.” Tasha murmurs, smiling as she braces her hands behind her and leans back. It certainly makes the most of her assets, her nipples a soft rose color against her pale skin.  _Wow_ is she distracting. Tony tears his eyes away and scowls at the wall as she continues. “It’s old news. And we’re obviously waiting for you, in your very comfortable bed. What better to do than sleep? Do you realize it’s almost midnight?” 

“Yes, I do actually.” He replies primly. “And I just got home, as you can see. From the office, as  _you can see_. And I was planning on crawling to bed and sleeping, but my bed is occupied, as  _ **you can see**_.”

Tasha tilted her head, then gestured to the empty sprawl of mattress to her right. “So, what are you waiting for?”

“You to LEAVE!” He barked, to hell with waking Clint up. “I am waiting for you to LEAVE. There is an entire tower for you to sleep in. I don’t know what your crazy adrenaline filled sex shenanigans are about, but I don’t want them in my bed when I want to sleep in my bed!” 

Clint sleeps on, the bastard, and Tony barely resists the urge to pull off his watch and pitch it at the archer just to get a result. Clearly the man has taken out his hearing aids, sleeping soundly beside his murder girlfriend. It would be suicide to try anything, so Tony does resist. Topless or not he knows Tasha has at least three knives somewhere. And he doesn’t want to find them when they wind up in his gut, thank you very much.

“Why would we leave?” Tasha smiles. “You just got here.”

Tony scowls at her cat-with-the-cream grin and loses it. Pitching his suit jacket and tie across the room, he barks. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Is there something in the water?” 

Tasha must jump or jostle the bed, because a moment later Clint is awake. He blinks sleepily and then smiles, his hands fluttering in sign language. Which of course Tony knows, so he can’t help but grit his teeth at the flirty message.  _‘Hey Hot Stuff, you want to climb in here already?’_

Tony grits his teeth, glares at them both, and deliberately signs back.  **What. The. Fuck.**


	2. Chapter 2

Tony looks at Clint, looks at Tasha, looks back to Clint. Clint is safer, pecs on display or not. Clint has his charms, and Tony is the first one to give a regular guy props when he deserves them, but he's _not_ the most distracting member of the team.

Tasha isn't either, but naked in Tony's bed she makes a pretty good contender. 

Wow he needs to not think about any of this, ever again. Ever.

Tony closes his eyes as tightly as possible, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth in a bid to maintain some aspect of calm. 

"Sir." JARVIS murmurs, soft and concerned. "Your blood pressure."

"Don't you start with me, right now." Tony snaps, eyes wide open again as he points at the wall. His gaze locks on the bed and its occupants, and he continues to speak without looking away from Natasha and Clint. "Listen, I don't know what's gotten into you two... I've got _no_ idea. But I'm too tired for bullshit right now, so, this is what's going to happen. I am about to walk out of this damn room, and I am going to sleep somewhere else. You two? Can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't involve me. Tomorrow, JARVIS is having the staff turn over this room, and order me a new mattress, so feel free to take that one to your floor if you like it so much. _This_? Will not be happening again."

He turns on his heel, stalking away before either of them can get a word in edgewise. On his way out he kicks his discarded shoes toward the far wall, taking a small amount of satisfaction in the way they bang against the dresser as he leaves the room. JARVIS has the elevator car waiting, and it isn't until the elevator doors are almost closed that Tasha seems to recover.

"Tony, wait!" She calls, appearing in the hallway in one of his button-down shirts.

Tony almost slams a palm out, almost stops the doors to yell that is a Zegna and he has no idea what he's done to deserve her stealing it. But that means staring at the way that only the last two or three buttons are closed up, and her bare breasts are still very-much visible through the open collar and front of the shirt. It's a rich, midnight blue, and it looks stunning against her pale skin and deep red hair. On Pepper the color clashes with the soft honey-amber of her straight locks, but with Tasha's deeper scarlet it looks good. Great. 

Patriotic? Pale skin and a blue shirt and deep red... Well, down that color combination lies madness. But also, Tasha's bare breasts. 

Which? Nope. Whatever she has to say is not worth him remaining on the floor and dealing with all of that. 

Wow, turning down a beautiful naked woman in his bed. Is he growing as a person? Is he just realistic about the threat that Tasha presents? If only the gossip magazines could see him now. Tony shakes his head and leans against the wall, sighing in relief as the doors close fully. "Thank you, JARVIS."

"Apologies, Sir." The AI offers timidly. "If it matters at all, I believe Ms. Romanov and Mr. Barton to be sincere in their advances. They have endeavored to bestow their intentions upon you during the last two recent altercations the Team was forced to combat. They also have taken to individually inquiring about your diet and sleeping patterns."

"That still doesn't explain what lead to them naked in my bed." Tony grits out between cleched teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose to fight off the incoming headache. "J, honey, please explain to Daddy why we allowed this."

"As I said, Sir, their intentions seemed genuine." The AI gives the suggestion of a shrug in the way he pauses. "Their methods have been ineffective until now, perhaps too subtle continuing the way models used to pick you up in your younger years?"

"That's quite enough of that, young man."

"Excuse me, Sir." JARVIS doesn't sound apologetic in the slightest. "I didn't mean to offend. Merely to suggest that a somewhat blatant approach would be more successful, which is clearly the conclusion the Agents came to."

"Bare-breasted is probably the best way to win an argument." Tony reluctantly admitted. "At least the fastest. But it's certainly not a good opening line for a dialogue in a situation of consent."

"I certainly did not intend for your virtue to be under threat, Sir." JARVIS retorts, sincerity in every syllable. "If Ms. Romanov's state of undress was disconcerting to you, would you rather speak to her now that she is somewhat clothed?"

The memory of Natasha's pale breasts through the open front of his midnight-blue Zegna makes Tony close his eyes. He could have gone his whole life without knowing that the pink of Tasha's nipples matches the shade of her lips. _His whole life_. But evidently no one thought it was important enough to ask him how he felt on that score.

"No thanks, J." He replies softly, wondering if maybe he needs to have some serious discussion with his AI about matchmaking, relationship dynamics, consent and invasion of privacy. "I'm tired."

"Yes, Sir." JARVIS acquiests. "Though, Mr. Barton is worried that his presence may have exacerbated your fatigue?"

"I really don't even know where to begin with _that_ right now." Tony sighs. Does he need to sit Clint down and have a talk with him at some point? Wait... "Why was Clint in my bed with a naked Tasha? Are they a thing? If they're a thing, what does she need me for?" 

"In Mr. Barton's case, I believe he too was nude." JARVIS chimed in helpfully. "And I believe that they are, as you say, a _'thing'_. But as both of them are interested in you, they are both attempting to make an overture?" 

"More good news." Tony mumbles, lifting both hands to rub at his temples. "Listen, I appreciate that he liked the mattress, I do... And I guess if there's some sort of feature in the penthouse that makes him comfortable enough to sleep without his hearing aids, I can repeat whatever it is in his own suite. But I thought we'd done everything possible for their floor?"

He's too tired to recall what modifications he made to Clint's floor, but heightened security and soundproofing were definitely standard on all Avengers floors. 

"I don't think it was the floor, Sir." JARVIS replies kindly. "Agent Barton has said on numerous ocassions that his floor is most comfortable. I do not think there is anything he wants to change."

"Then what was it!?" Tony barks, frustration and no small amount of panic in his tone. "Why are they in _my bed_?"

"Possibly because it is your bed, sir?"

Minutes stretch by in silence as Tony tries to understand, and ultimately gives up with a shake of his head. "I am too tired for this. Are we here? Just tell me what door I'm heading to, don't even bother with lights, J."

"Do you want to know what floor you're on, at least?" JARVIS asks as Tony shuffles through the now-open elevator doors and down the dark hallway.

"Nope. Just point me to my bed."

"Very well, the doors to your right, sir."

"Thanks J."

"... You're welcome, Sir."

Surely all of this would make sense in the morning? Or he'd wake up and find out it was all a really, really weird dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a dream, Tones... Also, hmmm, which floor should he be on? ~~Who should be next?~~  
>  *evillaughter*

**Author's Note:**

> This and the other drabbles like it may continue into fullblown fics of their own so for now they'll all be uploaded as individual stories!


End file.
